How often do we get amped up to make big changes and fix our flaws for good? How many times have we decided that we will break free of our bad habits and achieve the happiness of our dreams? The number, in my experience, is incalculable. Typically, I move strong, full speed ahead, for a week or two. My discipline is on point and nothing gets in the way of my well thought out plan of success. Then I give in to a banned temptation or I indulge one of my vices.
The mental twists return in full force and, before I know it, I am repeating the same errors that I recently repented against. I find myself searching over and over again for the strength to bypass my hardwired laziness, negative outlook, and deeply ingrained self-sabotaging behavior. Where did I go wrong?
Like most humans, I suffer from being too hard on myself. I also tend to bite off way more then I can chew when it comes to changing my behaviors. I make great progress then the weight of my challenge becomes too much for my will to bear and I buckle. Like concrete, one crack quickly leads to another fissure that ripples through the foundation. Once I give in to one vice, it becomes so much easier to allow another slip until I am right back at square one.
I was a “dry drunk”, as they say. I had to come to terms with my flawed thinking and make a decision to do something about it.
I call this “slump city”. I get to a state of stalemate. I know I need to get back on the horse but each day that goes by the horse gets taller and the saddle becomes harder to reach. I begin to loathe myself for giving in and the shame of my decisions keeps me grounded in misery. I want to achieve my dreams but I can’t bring my butt off the couch.
In order to break the cycle of shame, we must accept our current situation. We have to be completely honest with ourselves about what we want and what needs to be done to get there. Everyone makes mistakes and that is okay. It’s time to stop crying and rolling in our pain. The cure is Action. The only way to complete a journey is to put our heads down, focus, and take a step forward. Each step builds on the one before until we look up and see our destination in sight.
Every time that I get depressed or stunted it is always because of inaction. I let my outside circumstances take president over my spiritual serenity. I get overwhelmed by my job, my house projects, my relationship, or my family issues. This pushes me into a shock like state where I feel incapable of completing the tasks at hand. It is so much easier to curl up in the bed, put on a t.v. show and pretend that my problems will melt away. This always leads to a building of tension. A rational person would prioritize the issues and work through them systematically like a “to-do” list or ask someone for a little help. Unfortunately, I am far from rational and I require a significant amount of emotional pain before I make a move.
I went through this slump for a few weeks this past month. I didn’t want to post anything, workout, go to work, eat right, or deal with my problems. I made excuses for each one of my crappy behaviors and it was absolutely miserable. My selfishness had caused me to neglect my responsibilities and obligations. I was a “dry drunk”, as they say. I had to come to terms with my flawed thinking and make a decision to do something about it.
The turning point is when I asked for help. I prayed for guidance in my life, called someone with an objective opinion, and tried to help someone else like me. I got out of my own skin and remembered how amazing my life is today compared to how it was two years ago. Once I finally started doing the work required of me, my mental road blocks began to disintegrate. Through action, I was able to combat fear, remorse, resentment, selfishness, dishonesty, and pain.
This can be true for anyone, even if you’re not an alcoholic or drug addict. Don’t be too afraid or too proud to ask for help, from God or another human being, because we all need a hand fighting our demons. Start taking some steps towards a better life by actually working through the plan that you have set. Most importantly, be grateful for the life you have now and the opportunity you have been given to be the best you possible. Live your life with love and fulfillment. When you get into Slump City, remember stop sulking and start working. You will be back to normal in no time!